Things to do today…

Today, I will:

Let the kids outside to play in the snow. It’s deep enough now that the dog poo I failed to clean up has been right properly buried.

I will make an effort to look at the orange carpet in The Mac’s Minecraft house.

I will pick up that Cheerio that has been lying on the floor for about a week, but no one, including the dog has eaten it. Or picked it up, including me.

I will stop hating lists. Just kidding…

I will think about Christmas shopping. I still have ten days, after all. Well, nine, I guess. No, eight. I’ve got work to do today…

I will give some time to staring at the falling snow, and be at peace.

Have a lovely day, everyone:)


Have you kissed your Christmas tree today?


Time to jump

Do you know what I love? Last night’s bedtime. Normally, I dread them, as Little Brother doesn’t stay asleep for long, and it’s almost guaranteed I’ll be going to curl up with the boys before the sun rises, so sleep and I aren’t seeing much of each other lately.

But last night, while doing our quiet time routine, and specifically this: (it’s Matt and Dream English Kids and a great bunch of videos. Check him out!) 

both Boys got up and started jumping and doing the motions they saw in the video. I joined them, doing my best imitation of a grown up jumping on a bed. Before long, The Mac was singing along, which is not something he does often. Little Brother is the singer in the family. The Mac is tone deaf, tuneless, forget Lincoln Center. But his pronunciation, his exactness in singing the words was the most loveliest thing I’ve ever heard. He was so unaware of how he sounded, so unconcerned. He just wanted to sing. But he was gonna do it his way, by gum. 

Keep Swimming…

Yeah, I know. The title is a little gratuitous. But it’s how I felt last night. I really felt like I was simply treading water, trying not to drown. I feel like that when I am especially tired, which is basically the norm right now. No Deep Water, nothing like that. No sharks waiting just below, looking to snack on creme filling. But I know there is no way I can just let go and sink. I have a house full of delicious little souls that need me too badly, and I love them too much to let them down. I’m a mom, and other moms will know what I mean when I say, we just find it, don’t we? That last little bit to wipe that nose, get the Lego from under the fridge, laugh one more time at “Mama, the sheep’s died,” get up with the nighttime wanderer.

Someday, I know we’ll look back at this in wonderment, because we will choose to. I glomm onto every little moment I can with these guys, even when I want to scream at everyone.  But I know I can choose to do certain things in my life, like be patient, and love, and tread that water.

Sometimes you're just that tired...

Sometimes you’re just that tired…

Salutations From a Work in Progress

I’m sitting on the sofa, laptop on, well, lap, wondering where to start. I’m watching The Mac watch a Toy Story Minecraft video on Youtube. I don’t get the game quite yet, but I love how it inspires him to engage in conversation with me, which is something he wouldn’t do till just recently. He loves to list the animals he has at his house, and even tell that the cow broke its ankle. I say that’s awful, but he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever. Yup, I just don’t get it. But it helps satisfy his need to build.

I won’t bore you with the details of how we got here, as it’s probably a familiar story: the suspicion, the worry, the emotional trauma of the paperwork and the waiting for the appointment date to arrive, and then the official diagnosis: autism. The slow motion, the tears, the mourning. And then the light begins to dawn. He is the SAME as he ever was, but it’s all different. You have a diagnosis, you formulate a plan of attack, you work with a wonderful ABA therapist, but there is still consternation at every turn.

But I learned quickly how to roll with the punches (and those can be some serious body blows!) and how to help him help himself. I have learned  the lingo: First, Then; IEP, scripting (our dev ped, though really great, had never heard of that! He called it by its name: echolalia), etc. I even sometimes wonder if I’m missing something because I think this is suspiciously all too easy. We have a long way to go.

So, there it is. A little hodge-podgy for a first post, but that’s me:) Allons-y!


A good place

A good place

This is the Mac. He was diagnosed with autism in May 2013. He’s happy, smart, funny, sympathetic and empathetic. He’s my little blond bird, and he tells me things all the time, about myself, about himself, and about how we need to get going. We have a lot to learn…